7 steps to restart your homeschool

21 June 2019 - Umm Yusef

Assalamo alaykum and welcome.

We all have some really good homeschooling streaks: we are all nicely settled into the routine, learning takes place, the parent feels reasonably in control and everybody is pretty happy. And then… BOOM! Staying guests. A family trip. Eid. A stomach bug. The routine is broken. Maybe it is already a week after that important celebration or milestone for which you took time off and you were expecting to definitely have resumed by now… but you haven’t.

Whatever the cause of the disruption, the problem is one and the same: you cannot restart.

The kids don’t want to touch the curriculum with a barge pole and – making things even harder – neither do you!

Naturally, I have been in this predicament a number of times, so I came up with a little action plan for when your homeschool is struggling to get going again.

If you think – as I probably would have thought too, at least initially – that this might take a whole week, and that’s a long time not to be doing “actual school work”, then try to force everybody back into it and see what fun it is! (Just kidding! Don’t do that. Bear with me and read on, insha’Allah).

Task 1: Seek help where help is to be found

Nowadays, ranting seems to have acquired human right status; when things don’t go their way, many take to social media and indiscriminately “let it out” to a bunch of strangers or people that – for the most part – are not very relevant in their life. The believer, on the other hand, remembers that she has a Lord who is Merciful and Who manages all affairs with the utmost wisdom.

Don’t vent. Instead, seek help where you can find it. Seek help from Allah, as in the heartfelt advice that the Prophet Muhammad (salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam) gave to Abdullah ibn Abbas (rady Allahu anhuma):

“…Be mindful of Allah and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, then ask Allah alone; and if you seek help, then seek help from Allah alone. […]”

You have a Lord that loves you to ask Him.

Anas (rady Allahu anhu) narrated that the Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said:

اللَّهُمَّ لَا سَهْلَ إِلَّا مَا جَعَلْتَهُ سَهْلًا ، وَأَنْتَ تَجْعَلُ الْحَزْنَ إِذَا شِئْتَ سَهْلًا

“Oh Allah, there is no ease except in that which You have made easy; and, if You wish, you can make the difficulty easy.”
Collected by Ibn Hibban, graded saheeh by al-Albani

You don’t have to necessarily be hit by a major calamity in order to make these amazing words yours; they are perfectly suitable for anytime you feel deflated and at a loss when it comes to homeschooling and parenting (or life) in general.

Task 2: Reconnect

Often, when there is a break in our homeschool, parent and children each become absorbed in doing their own thing, typically those things they feel they don’t have enough time to delve into when homeschooling is on.

It can be hard to go back to structured learning while the interest for this activities we have thrown ourselves into is still so alive.

It is a good idea to do something to reconnect with our children first; in other words: do “nothing” together. I am talking about premeditated, intentional “nothing”: play games, bake a cake and invite friends, read aloud, go for walks… ask them if there is something they would like to do together and indulge in it without the pressure of having to “get work done”.

Task 3: Accept reality

Take a step back and accept that our life is made of days and each of them may come with change.

This is true of every aspect of our lives and we can certainly observe it in the patterns of our family life. Things did not change because you were unable to maintain them: they changed because such is the nature of our existence on this earth. And our nature, as human beings, is to pick ourselves up, reassess things and carry on, insha’Allah.

Your homeschool is not a regimented institution. Your children are not in the army, nor are they in a conventional school where “they have to [fill blank]”. It is certainly not your job to make it like that!

Your homeschool does not need to be flawless in order to be an absolutely brilliant place of knowledge and growth. Break away from that mentality if you find it is affecting you and let go of the guilt.

There was a time when change in our homeschooling setup, caused me severe insecurity and even upset me. Part of the solution to that is to put our trust in Allah and know that when He closes a door, something better for us must be on the horizon.

Task 4: Make a TA-DAH! List

We are all familiar with the concept of a “to-do” list; well, a “ta-dah” list is the opposite: instead of writing down the things you are yet to do, list what you have already achieved!

You can compile one for each child and also one for yourself as a parent and educator.

Alhamdulillah, sometimes you have to write it down to truly see how far you have come. Having this list in front of you will consolidate the notion that you have been an effective teacher and you did facilitate learning for your children.

This activity is guaranteed to encourage you and make you feel more positive about this whole homeschooling business!

Involve your children and physically write down all the amazing things that they have learned about and all the skills they have mastered.

Celebrate all the lightbulb moments, all the things – big and small – that they remember feeling happy or proud about. Include every little growth experience you can think of. From learning to tie shoelaces to showing ability to forgive; from learning how to say “hello” in a foreign language, to mastering the rules of checkers; from starting to offer the fajr prayer at its time, to learning to do a load of laundry; from perfecting the ability to shower without completely flooding the bathroom, to memorizing that hadeeth that will stay with them forever.

You, mom, do it too. Have a list to record your own learning and growth. You are in as much need of it as your children are!

Download your FREE TA-DAH list HERE

Free printable learning log ta-dah list to celebrate learning. Use as a bullet journal spread or for your homeschool planner

Task 5: Face the curricula

At this point you enjoyed a good dose of bonding with your children and the much needed “pat on the back” that is your TA-DAH! list. You must now take stock of the materials you were using before things ground to a halt.

Don’t worry: you are ready.

Armed with a big cup of coffee – quietly creep up to the bookshelf/drawer/basket, so not to spook the books, especially after they have been abandoned in their environment for so long and are no longer used to human contact. You might find it useful to have a cookie at hand too.

Seriously, it won’t be that hard. The books won’t bite you.

Get them all out.

All you need to do it separate what has worked well for you from what did not; what you want to work with now and what might be more suitable for a later time. Decide what to carry on with and what to abandon. Streamline the whole system by reducing the materials to a minimum (what is needed as opposed to what would be lovely to also incorporate, if you see what I mean).

Homeschoolers tend to be great book lovers, educational philosophy hoppers and sometimes curriculum hoarders, but if a certain method/book/style (even – temporarily – a subject!) is putting you off resuming your homeschool, ditch it!

How to reconnect with kids in your homeschool after the holidays. Tips for homeschooling moms

Task 6: Freshen things up

Introduce a new, fresh, desirable subject to replace something you are taking a break from (gardening? Spanish? design?…). Try out a new approach to homeschooling (unschooling? Workboxes? Charlotte Mason? …). If it is feasible in terms of family routine (and budget), sign your kids up for a new activity. Include videos or documentaries to supplement your textbooks. Start (or restart) having regular poetry tea-times! (those really reinvigorate our homeschool, alhamdulillah!). Make life skills and/or handiwork part of your homeschool.

You know your children well, so you may want to surprise them with the above or you might brainstorm with them and involve them in the decision process.

Ask your kids what they are curious about, which subjects they would like greater focus on and what activities they would like to try out or allocate more time to.

Jot down everything. If your kids are anything like mine, there is bound to be some ideas that are very, very much out there. Do not dismiss those either: just because you are unable to take your children to space or coach them to kung fu mastery, that doesn’t mean you can’t learn about it. In any case, a few years down the line, it will be delightful to read that jetpack building and mining for gold in your backyard were part of someone’s plans.

Task 7: Plan for relief, not torture

You have tightened the bond between you and your students; you celebrated successes and accepted limits; you narrowed your focus by selecting the materials that you intend to use; you ignited interest and fuelled the will to learn; you breathed new life into your homeschool, kept yourself adequately caffeinated… and sprinkled the whole thing with du’a to Allah for ease and guidance.

It is now time to put it to paper. Planner paper, scrap paper, digital “paper”… whatever works best or appeals more to you. Make sure that planning your homeschool is not a task that overburdens you. It is worth spending a few moments figuring out how you want to plan to make your life easier, and not to follow what you perceive to be a winning planning methodology.

For example, not everybody finds it useful to lesson plan, and, even if you do, how detailed do you want your plans to be? Make it yours. Making it yours meaning that you might decide not to write it down at all.

If you wish to write your plan, start small: distribute little chunks of work to each of your homeschooling days for the coming week, to test your way of planning is suitable to your needs and easily manageable before committing any further to it.

Once you are happy, you may proceed to plan months ahead or even the whole year. Personally, I never dare to go that far.

Actually, it is not a matter of “daring”: it is just knowing that, when we are all settled and the whole system is running smoothly… BOOM! A 3 days conference to attend. My Arabic exams. Grandma coming to visit for a week. A spell of awesome weather and you just can’t stay indoors… aaand we will be back to TASK 1!

Does your homeschool ever suffer disruptions or runs out of steam?

What do you do to get started again? Share your tips in the comments below!

tips to resume study in your homeschool. Muslim homeschooling after holiday

6 tips for a stress-free Ramadan

24 April 2019 - Umm Yusef

Assalamo alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh and welcome.

Is it just me or it all seemed a lot easier when the children were smaller? Or at least all in the same sort of age group…

Now in one household of 5 there are 4 different schedules for meals and sleeping; and hardly any time when kids are not around in 24 hours. Alhamdulillah.

Needless to say, Ramadan is NOT meant to be stressful. Maybe a little tiring, but certainly with tiring yourself out in the worship of Allah should come a very deep feeling of hope and contentment.

Then how can this blessed month – this amazing gift from Allah to the believers – let some of us feel anxious, overwhelmed and even disappointed?

1. Your Iman will not raise itself

The Messenger of Allah, salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam, said:

“When the month of Ramadan begins, the gates of Heaven are opened and the gates of Hellfire are closed and the devils are chained.”
[Bukhari and Muslim]

Ramadan is a time in which Allah makes the path to good easier for us to follow, and the path of evil easier to avoid, alhamdulillah. Having said that, Ramadan is not “fairy dust”. It will not, by itself, fix your heart.

A person will not go to bed on the 30th of Sha’ban with some sickness in her heart to wake up on 1st Ramadan completely purified. If you are lazy, neglectful or “in a bad place” in Sha’ban – and you do nothing to rectify that – the mere coming of Ramadan will not “magically” solve your problem and turn you into a brilliant Muslim, just like that.

A few years back, a month or so before the beginning of Ramadan, my family was afflicted by a test, and Allah is to be praised in every situation. In those dark and difficult days, I found myself desperately yearning for Ramadan to come, and, when it did, I felt even worse: I had to come to terms with the fact that Ramadan was not the “magic pill” that – in my particularly fragile state – I wished it to be.

Ramadan will not automatically mend your heart from sorrow, sin or heedlessness. Do not expect it do that. Instead, take yourself to account. Pinpoint your weeknesses and commit to seek Allah’s help and strive to improve. It is an amazingly good time to do that!

As the scholars of the salaf explained, Iman increases and decreases. It increases by obedience to Allah and it decreases by disobedience to Him. (read the full article on the definition of Iman HERE). There is a cause-effect link between our conduct and the state of our heart. Our level of Iman will also determine our level of contentment in this life.

Wishful thinking is not the way to succeed in Ramadan or outside of it. Because Allah’s mercy is vast, particularly so in Ramadan, we are likely to get much more than what we put into it… but still, we cannot expect to emerge from this Ramadan as better Muslims without working for it. And we ask Allah’s help in this.

2. Manage your expectations

Come to think of it, Ramadan seemed so much easier 10 years ago because I only had myself to think about; only my acts of worship to perfect, my body to keep sufficiently hydrated and rested and I was trying to make the most of Ramadan for myself only.

Much of the Ramadan related mom-stress originates from this: we want our children to have a great Ramadan; and, by “great Ramadan”, we mean a month of special, intense worship, well spent according to our (adult) standards.

We want them to “feel it”, like we feel it; or better, like we used to feel it 10 years ago, before we started stressing out about them “feeling it”!

Typically, the kids can’t quite do it, or can’t quite have full understanding of it. Then we feel the stress of “not having done enough.”

But I am going to share with you something very important I learned from one of my teachers (a female student of knowledge). A true game changer Allahumma baarik: children (and here I refer specifically to children below the age of puberty) lack ihtisaab. Ihtisaab is the ability to do good deeds while actively seeking and anticipating the reward of Allah. They are very capable of doing good deeds, but their association between that and striving for Jannah is still at the developing stages.

They are much more absorbed in the here and now than adults. So you might explain the importance of praying, or fasting, or wearing hijab and give daleel to them until you are blue in the face, and they might be convinced to do it, but at times they will still find it a struggle, rather than the seamless consequence of love for their Creator that mom would like to see.

This might lead you to think: “Doesn’t this child love Allah???” She does, but she is not you. Children do not understand the reality of this life and the Hereafter like we do; they are only in the process of learning that.

I transcribed and condensed the lessons that dealt with this topic in the post If they Don’t love you, you will lose them, on my old blog. I wholeheartedly recomend it. I go back periodically to it myself.

Do not expect your children to be as selfless as an adult can, to strive as hard for an Afterlife they don’t comprehend as well as you do. Some might, but the reality is that most won’t (yet).

If your child (who is perfectly able to fast) moans that he wishes he didn’t have to because he is hungry for a doughnut, do not get angry at him and brand him “evil” or “sinful”; don’t react as if you had heard it from another sister.

Excuse his lack of understanding of what it means to do something hard seeking and anticipating the reward of Allah (ihtisaab). Model a better behaviour and move on.

Don’t accuse him of loving a doughnut more than he loves Allah (it simply doesn’t work like that in his head!); instead, encourage him to hang on, tell him that Allah is pleased with his effort – and so are you – and talk to him about the rewards of Paradise.

Think of us adults: we have full understanding of these matters, yet how many times do we become complacent? How many times do we fall short?

We all need mercy. So, even more so in the case of your children, let’s encourage and tolerate.

How to have a beneficial family Ramadan without stress feed the heart this Ramadhan

3. Low and slow

Tolerance has many levels.

There is making excuses for your child acting like a child when it comes to fasting and other difficult things to do (as mentioned above).

There is also the tolerance you need not to bark at your most chatty kid, who is uber-excitedly following you around to tell you – in a huge amount of detail – all about something you can’t even fully comprehend because it is 6am, the baby is crying, you slept 2 hours and you can’t even have coffee.

Lower your voice.

Even lower than normal, just to be on the safe side. Don’t spoil your fast because you stepped on a Lego. Even if it is the 15th you have stepped on today!

I am not say you have to turn a blind eye to behaviour that needs to be rectified, but as for anything that is less important than that, let it be less important. Do not let the noise and mess that usually come in the package with kids get to you. Anger will not help the situation.

This is something to bear in mind at all times, but even more so in Ramadan, when anger can burn through our hard earned rewards like wildfire.

Let’s make it an absolute priority for the month of Ramadan to display real patience, and let’s ask Allah’s help plentifully for it, among all other things.

If you find you become irritable under pressure, do what needs to be done to lessen that pressure.

If you find it hard to maintain your usual routine, simplify it.

If you find the need to – and are able to – do less. You have children or family members that cannot fast, so they need meals at different times? Instead of cooking from scratch each time, make sure the fasting and the non fasting can all eat the same one meal that day.

Try to do those big twice a year type household chores before Ramadan (or live with it until after it!) and suffice yourself with doing what is needed around the house.

Giving yourself permission to slow down is very important if you run your homeschool as usual during Ramadan.

One of the greatest perks of homeschooling is its flexibility: don’t feel that you must “crack the whip” through Ramadan because kids who go to school would have to go even if they are fasting. That is true, but our kids are not in school; we have the freedom to choose a more relaxed schedule (or no schedule at all) if that makes their fasting easier.

In general, the body tends to get used to fasting and many people find no difficulty in carrying on their usual work or study. If that is how you and your kids roll, then great alhamdulillah! But if not, then say alhamdulillah and let your child sleep through until dhuhur time if she was up late praying taraweeh, and let the books gather some dust for 30 days, if they must.

As homeschoolers, we are free from the constraints of the academic year. We determine our academic year.

We have the choice to put worship before schoolwork. And if that is not the top reason why we homeschool then I don’t know what should be!

4. Feed the heart

“Remember when we were little in Ramadan and Ummi was so busy making *insert name of dish* that you would get your head bitten off just for walking into the kitchen???”

I don’t want my children to say this in 20 years!

This kind of behaviour should not be associated to Ramadan. As always, what they see us do counts way more than what we tell them. In Ramadan, the heart must be fed more than the body.

We need to work on perfecting our acts of worship, controlling our character, increasing our knowledge and understanding and, in general, having greater awareness of Allah.

All the family must be on board: Ramadan is the month of fasting, not feasting. We should all be content with modest meals. Do not make food your main occupation, this month of all months! Cut out excessive food shopping, preparation and consumption. As a result, you will be less stressed and more focused on what really matters.

Yes, feed the fasting. Yes, make nice meals for your family. Don’t turn Ramadan into a food festival though. It should not be about what’s for iftaar.

5. Let family traditions create themselves

Mark Ramadan as special in your household in a way that doesn’t feel like a chore. The aim is to increase the anticipation and joy we connect to Ramadan. All of us: Mom included!

As for family traditions, if you are a relatively new family, know that true family traditions are not something forced on by a family member (because you saw it online, because that’s how things are done “back home”, etc…); they are what you all enjoy and would like to repeat; what you naturally feel inclined to do on special occasions because it makes you all happy. Again, all of you.

Maybe Ramadan can be the month your children are allowed to help in the kitchen to make treats to share with the neighbours; or it can be the month you go through your clothes, books and toys and decide what to donate or sell to raise money for a cause picked by them. It can be the month in which Maths and English are replaced by stories of the Prophets, curled up together on the sofa, or spread out on a blanket in the garden. Ramadan can be the time when the children are allowed to stay up late and experience going out as a family in the middle of the night for taraweeh. It can be the time when, after saving up and anticipating it all year, we travel to a Muslim land to experience this precious month with extended family, and, if we cannot do that, we can keep in touch more closely with them, practice our Arabic from home and try out their traditional iftaar recipes.

You are the mom and the homemaker. You “make the home”, every single day. You can “make” your children’s Ramadan too! It doesn’t have to be expensive, or fancy, or creative… it only requires a little thought and a smile on your face. a positive atmosphere to be maintained.

Think back to your family’s ways to mark special occasions when you were a child. You will probably find that it was very simple things that created that positive association for you.

Read here about what we will do (insha’Allah) in our home (and homeschool) this Ramadan.

Have a look inside and download our FREE “Sittings in the Month of Ramadaan workbooks HERE.

My children still love the (falling apart but) must-have Ramadan mailbox, where they will be surprised with a simple activity to do together each day (I planned those based on what I already had available in the house, you can read about it HERE). They like to deliver food to the neighbours when we can. They love it when we can all go to buy and give the food for the zakat-ul-fitr and when we put up the Eid decorations and bake a small mountain of shortbread cookies. Simple things like these, alhamdulillah.

6. This is what Allah wants from you right now

The worship of the month of Ramadan is intense. Having children is hard work. Homeschooling can be taxing. Combining all three factors can be positively draining.

Smile and remember: this is what Allah has given you to deal with at this point in your life. Embracing it is part of your worship.

Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) narrated the Prophet (ﷺ) said:

If the woman prays the five daily prayers, fasts in Ramadan, safeguards her chastity and obeys her husband, she will enter into Jannah from any door she wishes.
[Ibn Hibban, a saheeh hadeeth]

You might have a lot less time available to dispose of as you please and your worship might be less energetic and full on then when you were an unmarried, younger woman, but this does not make your Ramadan deficient!

When you sit to read Qur’an and your young children interrupt you every 2 minutes, you tend to them. You cannot attend the taraweeh prayer in the masjid because you have babies, so you pray at home, without the imam’s precise, emotional recitation. You used to cook iftar for your whole street, volunteer, teach, raise money… now it’s all nappies and workbooks. Maybe you are pregnant or breastfeeding (maybe you have been for years, Allahumma baarik!) so fasting itself may be out of the window…

Sounds familiar?

Everybody is being tested, every single day. We are tested with different things at different times, but our whole life is a test.

Embrace what Allah has given you. Fulfil your responsibilities to those you are in charge of and do so intentionally. At times you may wish you could choose a different way to please Allah, a way that you perceive to be better and more satisfying, but He is the One who knows best. It is all part of your worship in this season of your life, alhamdulillah.

May Allah guide us all, allow us and our families to reach this blessed month and to take full advantage of its bounties.

Do you have any tips for a stress-free Ramadan?

What are your favorite Ramadan family traditions?

Share in the comments below!

How the Muslim family can start Ramadan happy traditions and feed the heart have a relaxed ramadhan whether homeschooling or not

Daily Qur’an Study journal – a little gift to my fellow Muslimahs

19 April 2019 - Umm Yusef

Assalamo alaykum and welcome.

As mothers, we have heard it and said it countless times: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

As Muslims, we know how that “cup” can ever truly be filled.

Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.

[Surah ar-Ra’d 13:28]

Striking a balance between our many wordly commitments and our own growth in the deen is difficult, and Allah’s help is sought.

As with everything, we might go through phases: We start off determined and focused and then, after a while, life happens; we feel overwhelmed, lose momentum… and the dust starts to settle over our books. Maybe even over our heart.

The Muslim woman, particularly the Muslim mother, has many responsibilities. Contrary to what one might assume, learning her religion (as much as she is able) is one of them.

The Qur’an was revealed for you

It was revealed for the guidance and success of each one of us. If we fail to connect with it, to know what it says and try to act upon it, then we will never be truly happy.

The Qur’an was not revealed only for children in the madrasas, or for the elderly uncles that have time to sit with it in the masaajid. It was revealed for us busy moms too.

On the Day of Judgement, it will be a proof for or against us. We cannot be Muslims without it.

Memorizing Qur’an, accessing its meaning by learning Arabic and studying tafseer such as those of Ibn Katheer or Imam as-Sa’dee (which are available in English) is not something only for those who have “time to spare”.

One might start enthusiastically, then run out of steam and stop for a while. None of us is immune to the day-to-day mom-wearout, nor is any of us safe from getting discouraged when we see we “can’t keep it up.”

But we can always start again, insha’Allah.

About the daily Qur’an journal

free resource for Muslimahs Quran journaling

To establish a minimal, sustainable study routine for myself, I tried to come up with a simple logging system that I can use daily and that would enable me to:

Break down the task of memorizing Qur’an and learning its meanings into small, manageable chunks
Attach meaning to the ayaat to aid memorisation
Increase my Arabic/Qur’anic vocabulary
Record tafseer benefits so that what is read can be revised and looked up easily
Feel encouraged by seeing my small daily efforts add up in a tangible way
Use a format similar to journaling, which, in itself, can be a very calming and enjoyable activity.

For a few days, I did my daily Qur’an with a piece of paper next to me, sketching out layouts and filling them in with my notes, and this is the final product:

It is FREE;
It is available in 3 sizes: A4, A5 and standard traveler’s notebook insert;
It comes in 4 accent colours (and a monochrome version);

How to assemble the journal

Choose how big you want your journal to be. Personally I find A4 too big, but you may want to have lots of space to write. I recommend size A5 or the standards TN size to use as a traveler’s notebook insert;
Print. With the exception of the cover, make sure you print pages on the front and the back of the paper;
If you are using a ring binder, cut the pages to size (if needed), punch holes and you are good to go.
If you want to make it into a notebook, fold all the pages along what will be the spine, stack them in the order you want and stapled them with a regular reach stapler and a rubber (see how to do it HERE). If you don’t have too many pages you can even run it through a sewing machine. (TIP: If you are printing different colour pages and want the two pages of each spread to match once the notebook is stapled, make sure that -when you stack the pages before stapling – you do so with the same colour facing each other!).

How to use it

This Qur’an study journal was designed to be used as an aid in your hifdh and tafseer study, but there is no reason why you couldn’t use it to learn about the Qur’an you read daily.

When you can appreciate the original wording and you understand the meaning of an ayah, it will be easier to memorise it and, of course, your attachment to it will grow.

Simply choose the ayah you want to start with. It can be something you want to revise or a brand new one to memorise. Read it a few times.
Copy the meaning in English to familiarize yourself with it (I do recommend using the Noble Qur’an translation by Hilali and Khan which is, to my knowledge, the most accurate in English.)
Choose an Arabic word from the ayah to be your word of the day. You can see the Qur’an translated word by word HERE. PLEASE NOTE: I do not know this site’s methodology and I do remind everybody that the Qur’an must not be interpreted on the basis of linguistic/grammatical analysis alone, but understood through the tafseer passed down from the companions of the Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam).
Read the tafseer of the ayah from Ibn Katheer or Imam as-Sa’dee and note down some points of benefit.
There is additional space for a little daily gratitude as well as notes. You can write what worked well for you, how you could improve your study experience, your plan for the next day… or anything you find useful!
Feel free to spend as many days (and pages) as you need on the same ayah. Each day you can pick a different Arabic word from it and add more tafseer benefits, insha’Allah.
The pages are not dated. It might sound silly, but that will make you feel better in case you end up skipping a few days, and it will make it easier to resume where you left off, insha’Allah.

Let’s strive this Ramadan!

I designed this journal pages to cover a small portion of daily work. This way, fewer people will be intimidated by the fact that they simply don’t have a whole hour to sit and study.

How long it will take each day depends entirely on what you are able to put in, but this system should be doable even for busy moms that can only have 10 minutes at a time, insha’Allah.

It is a very good thing for our children to see us studying and putting effort into learning our religion. It is part of setting a good example for them.

Sometimes you may want to find a quiet place; early in the morning before everyone is up or first thing after the children go to bed are good times to study. You might be able to find pockets of time here and there during the day (try keeping your books and materials somewhere safe in the kitchen and take them out once the food needs your attention only once in a while!). To make it extra easy, both the Noble Qur’an and Tafseer Ibn Katheer are available as free apps for your phone.

Mankind is forever in need of another chance from Allah.

The coming of the month of Ramadan is an especially precious chance: a time when the shayateen are chained and largely prevented from hindering us; a time in which we find it easier to pick up good habits and during which the rewards for our deeds are multiplied even more than usual.

Allah says:

O mankind! There has come to you a good advice from your Lord, and a healing for what is in your chests – a guidance and a mercy for the believers.
[Surah Yunus 10:57]

Nothing can recharge our batteries and “fill our cup” like the Word of Allah can.

Let’s try again this Ramadan. In fact, let’s try to increase our bond with the Qur’an today!

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11 Tips to get started homeschooling

4 April 2019 - Umm Yusef

Assalamo alaykum and welcome.

If you are reading this, chances are that you are somewhere between blind panic and utter excitement.

You may be a young mom with your first toddler, rearing to plunge into formal education with her to give her every ounce of yourself; or a mother whose children, for whatever reason, have not thrived, or even suffered, in school; maybe you are worried about the world we live in, where many fundamental values are rapidly been eroded, and want to safeguard and nurture faith in your children in a largely non religious society.

Wherever you are in your journey as a mother, just by being one you have a responsibility given to you by Allah. Homeschooling is a way in which we work to fulfill it. Alhamdulillah, it is the way my family chose. Sometimes out of sheer passion and deep conviction, other times for mere lack of a better option, but here we are.

This post is not meant to provide a fool-proof, comprehensive, step-by-step program so that, if you go through it, you will suddenly emerge a successful homeschooler. I simply compiled a list of practical tips that might help you feel less overwhelmed and bring your very own homeschool closer to becoming a reality, insha’Allah.

With that in mind I created a fun simple (and FREE) GET YOUR HOMESCHOOL STARTED printable to help you jot down your ideas and find your feet as an emerging home educator.

1. Upgrade your intention

Prophet Muhammad (salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said:

{Indeed actions are considered based on the intentions, and everyone will be rewarded according to what he intended.} (Collected by al-Bukhari and Muslim).

If you want to home educate to feel or be regarded as super-mom, you will shortchange yourself. Homeschooling our children for the sake of Allah is a treasure that is there for the taking by those who are sincere.

Be determined not to miss out on it and rectify your intention daily: to be a mother that Allah is more pleased with; to really take charge of raising and educating the children He entrusted you with; to model the exemplary character you want to see in them; to teach them beneficial knowledge: the knowledge of their Creator and of their purpose in this life.

Writing a mission statement for your homeschool is a brilliant exercise to achieve clarity in your intention: it brings out what really matters to us, our values, our drive. Read here about how to write a homeschool mission statement.

2. Let yourself be inspired

Sampling what the main educational philosophies are about is sure to get you thinking about the way you want your homeschool to be. You don’t have to delve deep in any of them, but it can be interesting to see what they brought to the table. You will probably find that some ideas resonate with you much better than others.

Of course, as Muslims, we know that the only guidance that is complete, comprehensive and flawless is that of the Qur’an and the Sunnah, so take every educational philosophy with a pinch of salt. Never feel as though you have to fully subscribe to one of those schools of thought and stick with one method. And never turn off your critical filter.

Another way to be inspired is to see what other homeschoolers are doing. Remember, I said inspired, not intimidated!

Yes, blogs (those of people who – unlike me – know what they are doing with technology!) and social media are full of pristine images of unattainable perfection that main generate feelings of inadequacy in the reader … blah blah blah. It is up to us to be mature enough to know that there is life beyond the styled photography.

First of all, we must remember we are all humans and there is bound to be a certain amount of mess out of the shot and all around that beautiful arrangement. Secondly, someone’s fabulous online presence is by no means a hint at our “un-fabulousness”! As with everything, be careful who you let yourself be influenced by.

3. Build beneficial connections

Who said inspiration and support has necessarily to be found online? Before child rearing was at all on my radar, I became friends with a sister 10 years older and 3 kids wiser than me, who home educated. I was impressed, Allahumma baarik. I was impressed with her children and what she was doing for them, instead of pursuing her career. Soon after, I got married and had my first son and I found myself automatically turning to this friend for advice on education. Her insight was pure gold for me who basically had just come to motherhood – let alone homeschooling – from a whole other planet! I have been picking my friends’ brains ever since. It is a reciprocal service. This of course goes way beyond borrowing each other’s resources and exchanging reviews on curricula: A good sister, who is a good friend and homeschools, can be an invaluable presence at the coffee table, when things have not gone well and you need to have coffee and pick up the pieces. Your lives are similarly invested in the upbringing and education of your respective children, so she can grasp the magnitude of successes and milestone reached with far greater appreciation than other friends or family members who have never tried their hand and home education.

You do not have to be super outgoing to meet up with someone who home educates, have a chat and ask all your questions. I cannot stress it enough: the support of your fellow homeschoolers is invaluable. Find some you get on with. Become friends.

4. Determine subjects and levels

Make a list of the subjects you want your child to learn. Don’t forget to include Islamic sciences such as Qur’an, Arabic and whatever branch of Islamic knowledge you deem suitable at this point. They don’t necessarily have to study all the subjects all the time and it helps to keep the list minimal. Have an idea of what your child’s level is. If you are in the UK, and you are not adverse to the school system, you can check out the National Curriculum guidelines for the various subjects your child would be taught if he was in school. If you are removing your child from school you will know how he was doing at the level he was. Otherwise you can go by your child’s age, look at resources for that age and see how they work for them, then adjust accordingly with more challenging or easier materials and build on that. It is possible that he might be at different levels in each subject.

5. Gather your materials

You have decided on a bunch of different subject, but what curriculum do you pick for each? again, your fellow homeschoolers will be a great asset in helping you take this decision insha’Allah. Ask for reviews, ask them to show you their books or lend them to you. Some will have homeschooled multiple children and have sampled a variety of approaches and curricula. You don’t have to agree with them and what has worked for their children may not work for yours, but do benefit from their insight! Do not go line on on a crazy excitement-fueled shopping spree and spend hundreds of pounds without having even had a look inside the books or having given a little thought to how that is going to work for you. Plus, books are not the only way to learn.

As part of your materials, get your FREE Get Your Homeschool Started printable HERE!

6. Find a place

A place to homeschool and a place to store all your homeschooling things. Do not feel as though you need to set up a “classroom”, buy special furniture, and certainly do not quote this blog to your husband among the reasons why you “must” redecorate!

All I am saying is that it helps things to work smoothly if, at the start of each day, you do not have to chase: a) your students and b) the book and the paper and the pencil and the rubber and the glue-stick …. I don’t know about you, but this is not the kid of treasure hunt I care for! I am going to be very straight with you: both things will probably change quite a few times; even when you feel you have found the perfect setting and/or the perfect storage solution, something is going to come along and cause a reshuffle. Well, homeschooling is flexible and we must at least try to “flex” with it!

7. Be serious about it (but not too serious!)

Handing your child a colouring sheet and some crayons once in a while does not amount to homeschooling him. On the other hand, you don’t want to make it too regimented and end up inflicting on (yourself and) your children a super concentrated, 1:1 version of the very kind of pressure and rigidity you wanted to spare them in the first place by taking them out of school. It would also be nice for you not to suffer any kind of breakdown… right?

So, always think about homeschooling as a natural extension of parenting. You already have charge of these precious young people: you feed them, you make sure they are dressed and clean, you try to keep them healthy and happy, you do all you can for them to experience security and love. Now you are also taking control of their education. You know that delicate balance between laxity and strictness that we try to achieve as parents? Apply it to homeschooling as well. Sometimes you will see the fruits of your efforts and you will be pleased, sometimes you will mess up and you will have to say “sorry”. Homeschooling your children looks a lot like life!

8. Know the legal requirements (if any)

In the United Kingdom homeschooling is not strictly regulated or monitored, however, if your school aged child has ever been in school, or if you have accepted a place for her in a school (even if she has never actually attended it), you will need to deregister her. This site offers some useful information on the deregistration process which basically consists in writing a letter to the child’s school. It even gives a deregistration letter template. If your child has never been enrolled in school, as far as I know, you are under no obligation to inform anyone of your decision to homeschool.

If you are not in the UK, do check your country/state requirements and make sure you understand clearly what your rights and responsibilities are.

9. Get started as you can

Do not wait for everything to be perfect to allow yourself to start. Do not wait to have every single book, a massive stash of purposely bought craft materials, the crayons arranged in chromatic order… In fact, it might be better if you start small and avoid building up huge expectations. You have at hand your English materials, but you haven’t received the Maths book yet? Start with what you have and use it to test the waters. Maybe do that one lesson every day for a while and see how you get on. Find your feet, then build on that. There is no lesson timetable, no school bell… nothing to dictate that you should proceed at a certain pace or in a certain way, except your own sense of what is achievable and appropriate for today.

10. Prepare for criticism

I once came across someone who, after mentioning how many tens of thousands of pounds *gasps* they spent yearly for the private schooling of their children, looked positively disgusted when I contributed to the conversation that mine had never been in school. Almost as if I said I had left them in the wild, to be raised by wolves! when she recovered, she asked: “But can they, like… read???”

Home education has been happening for decades in the in the UK but, 10 years ago in my country of origin, the homeschooling community was almost non-existent, to the point my mother was adamant it was illegal. Even in a country like the UK where, a couple of years ago, the number of homeschooled children was 48.000 (but in reality it is bound to be more), the idea of alternative ways to educate might be welcomed with skepticism.

Your family might be completely unfamiliar with the whole concept of homeschooling and, as a consequence, fear it. You might enjoy frequent replays of “But you are not a real teacher” interspersed with “they will grow up to be weird loners”. Prepare for the fact that it might happen. Don’t engage in arguments. Don’t let it get to you. Chances are that insha’Allah the skepticism of those close to you will soon turn into admiration. You might overhear your mother boasting about you to her friends. If your relatives need a little nudge to be supportive, why not find a way to involve them in your children’s learning? as for those critics that are not close to you, debating with them is not our job.

11. Trust Allah. Trust yourself. Trust the process

Allah says in the Qur’an:

{And whoever is dutiful to Allah, He makes a way out for him from every difficulty. And He will provide for him from places he never could imagine. And whoever puts his trust in Allah, He will suffice him.} [Surah At-Talaaq: 65:2-3]

Trust Allah. Know your Lord. Know with certainty that He has all power and ability, among all other things, to guide us when we are confused and to rescue us from our mistakes. While He sustains the whole creation, His special closeness and guidance are obtained by those who strive harder to please Him.

Trust yourself. Do not think that, because you are not a qualified teacher, your children’s education will be inferior to that offered in schools. If you can learn, you can homeschool. Remember, you haven’t always been a confident mother, you weren’t born able to manage a household or do any of the other amazing things that you have mastered. You learned them. Similarly, you will acquire those teaching skills. As you gain experience, you will feel increasingly confident as a homeschooler; formal qualifications per se will not give you that. If you don’t know something, you can look it up. You are not expected to know everything beforehand. There is nothing demeaning in learning along with your child something you don’t know or have forgotten.

Trusting the process means believing that, although you may not see quick results, the days will add up and the work you put in will show in your children, not only in their academic achievement but also, and especially, in who they are. It will not happen overnight. In fact, homeschooling is not a great source of instant gratification as much as a long term investment. But the Muslim knows that none of their sincere efforts will be in vain. And the Muslim parent that chooses to home educate, does so knowing that Allah does not abandon those who do their best on His path.

Are you new to homeschooling and something worries you?

Are you an experienced homeschooler with more tips to add?

Please drop us a line in the comments below!

Free homeschool planner to get your homeschool started. Start homeschooling for beginners. Free download

10 Facts about homeschooling (for beginners)

25 March 2019 - Umm Yusef

Assalamo alaykum.

After being blessed with the ability to homeschool for a few years, this has become my normality. I don’t do school runs. I never know when the half-term holidays are. But I must remember that, for the majority of people out there, we are the weird ones (do our kids even speak English? do we ever get out of our pyjamas?).

There is a lot to say about homeschooling, for the benefit of the novice, as well as give the seasoned homeschooler some fresh food for thought, insha’Allah.

And since downloading information from one brain to another hasn’t been invented yet (and I hope it never will. It hasn’t been invented, right???) here are 10 facts for you, who have home education on your mind.

1. It is legal

Unless you are seriously out of touch with current affairs, you will know that homeschooling is legal in the United Kingdom, as it is in a lot of other countries worldwide, alhamdulillah. Then why mention this? to remind myself and you that, on your worst day of homeschooling, you should be grateful that your family has this choice in the first place. The freedom to have a say in what, when and how your children learn is a great blessing (even on the days you wish you could send them to school in a different continent!). After a bit of research, I was unable to find out the legal status of homeschooling in all countries of the world… it seems that in some places the law is unclear (sadly most Muslim countries appear to be in that predicament in case you are wondering…). Anyway, here’s a map where you can see where else in the world we enjoy this freedom insha’Allah!

2. It is nothing new

Over the last couple of centuries, human life has changed more rapidly than ever before. For millennia children have been taught things; they have learned everything they needed to know independently, either with the help of their family members or, less frequently, through other individuals. Schooling has been institutionalised and made obligatory only at the end of the 19th century. Children have been systematically made to learn in classrooms as we know them for less than 200 years: Very little when compared to the span of human existence. But, as I said, this relatively short time in history has changed people’s life beyond recognition. School has rapidly become synonym with learning; in fact, it has been inculcated in our minds that is “the one and only” avenue to learning. However, it takes only a little reading or looking around to see that: a) school doesn’t always work well and b) there are some truly inspiring and amazing adventures to be had if one chooses to educate their children independently.

Brilliance, invention, ingenuity and a the potential for a fulfilling life were available before school was invented and insha’Allah they can certainly be achieved outside of it!

3. It is increasingly popular

According to the BBC, the number of homeschooled children in the UK has risen 40% over the last 3 years. It is estimated that there are 50,000 homeschooled children in the UK, but the actual number is probably a lot higher, since this figure account only for children who have been in the school system at some point. Anyway you look at it, there is quite a lot of us. This has its perks:

People will be more aware they have the choice to homeschool (and be homeschooled!);
It makes us look (and feel) less weird;
Prejudice against homeschoolers will be increasingly challenged;
More homeschoolers in a given place virtually means more activities organized for their children;
More parents in your same situation meaning more potential for reciprocal inspiration and support;
More children educated independently means more children (and, some day insha’Allah, more adults) that have not been through the social and intellectual constraints of mainstream education.

Alhamdulillah, it is good news all around.

4. It is doable

By law you are not required to have any formal qualifications to home educate and certainly you do not need a degree to be able to do an amazing job as a home educator. It will help if you have ever been in school (or been homeschooled yourself!) or if you have ever studied or learned anything… and who in the world hasn’t?! If you can understand primary school maths, then you can help your child to learn it too. And if you do not understand or remember primary maths (or grammar, or French… anything really) you can easily look it up and quickly prepare.

What you really need to be able to home educate – and you cannot do it without – is:

Seek Allah’s help
Be a committed and caring parent
Give a big chunk of your daily time
Be curious, willing to learn,open minded

If you lack teaching and organisation skills, don’t worry: they will come with time and practice, insha’Allah.

5. The whole family will learn

Picture this: mom doesn’t really understand chemistry (she never did… and – to be honest – she could live without it!…); her 10 year old cannot get his head around reactions between metals and acids. Mom looks it up (on books, Google, Youtube…) and – BEHOLD – she gets it! She shares her discovery with her child (ok, technically, she has not discovered those reactions… but you see what I mean. Don’t ruin her moment!); anyway,the child gets it too! They excitedly communicate their success to Dad, who gets to learn something new. Meanwhile the 3 year old, who has been hovering around and listening, is now pretend playing “stirring magnesium in a sulfate solution” in her play kitchen.

10 Facts about homeschooling for beginners

6. It is all about relationships

When you home educate, your relationship with your children changes. It is not something to maintain and then develop at the weekend and in the holidays, when you get to spend more time together. No. They are with you pretty much all the time, so the interaction is far greater in length and intensity. Plus – because you are now taking on the new role of teacher or “manager” of their education – they are sure to find new and “exciting” ways to test you to the limit. Not because they are evil and the want to see you fail; it is what children do. They test their boundaries.

I don’t really know what it is like to be a mom whose kids attend school, but of course I have close friends and family who are. I imagine that their relationship with their children is like a garden. A British one. Beautiful and well cared for. It takes a lot of work to keep it looking good and tidy, especially in the Spring and Summer. And at any time of the year there are jobs to do if you want those flower beds to be healthy and those trees to bear fruit.

In a homeschooling setup, on the other hand, the relationship you get is like the jungle: a tangle. It grows in such ways that it cannot be tidied and managed aside from hacking a path through it. You have to forage for spontaneous fruits, which it gives plentifully. Sometimes they are colorful exotic things you have never seen before. Its greenery is such that it is perfectly capable of gobbling up whole cities (huge pyramids and all!). It is hot and humid and bothersome. Its abundance supports more life than anywhere else. And, although some of its fruits might give you the odd bout of diarrhoea, it is the place where tremendous things are waiting to be discovered.

You tell me, which one of the two scenarios holds more mystery, more interest and more life?

7. It is flexible

Glorious flexibility: one of the main factors in many people’s choice to home educate. What not everybody considers though is that, while it is generally speaking an advantage, in some settings the lack of a given framework can turn out to be a liability. It is down to us to enjoy the freedom of homeschooling: it is a good “power” and one that must be employed wisely if we want to harvest its fruits. Too much structure kills the enjoyment and excitement of learning; it must also be said though, that complete anarchy is not very conductive to learning either. Homeschooling allows you to choose what to study, when, where, how… and in certain cases even “if”. However, to avoid education and family life spiralling into mayhem, some organization skills and sticking-with-it-ness are needed. You don’t have to have a schedule, but having a routine in place can be very helpful (If you are wandering what’s the difference between “schedule” and “routine” watch this video or this one by Julie Bogart from Brave Writer). Some families are very comfortable going with the flow, and that too is absolutely fine, as long as you “go”!

8. It comes with multiple rewards

The lightbulb moments you will witness on your children’s faces will abundantly make up for all the time you felt overstretched, over tired, over everything! But there is another side to rewards, a deeper, more meaningful and more lasting one: The reward from Allah.

Prophet Muhammad (salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said:

{One who guides to something good has a reward similar to that of its doer.}

[collected by Muslim]

Be the one who directs your child to beneficial knowledge and action upon it: he gets rewarded and so do you.

Be the one who who teaches your child do pray salah: everytime she prays she gets rewarded and so do you.

Be the one who teaches your child to read Arabic: everytime he reads Qur’an he gets rewarded and, (you guessed it) so do you.

Be the one who teaches your child a hadeeth from the Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam) and clarify to her what’s the use of it and how to apply it in her life. Her good deeds will pile up and so will yours, insha’Allah.

Let’s not underestimate this absolute bounty from Allah and consider: Why share it with a teacher if we can do it ourselves?

9. It is part of the job description

I am not saying that all parents whose kids go to school are failing to fulfil their parental duties. There are families whose circumstances genuinely make it impossible to do.

What I am saying is: Let’s not be of those Muslims that just automatically dump their kids in whatever school is around the corner without giving any thought; or of those who hink homeschooling is great in principle but, because they are not qualified teachers or don’t have a university degree, they are somehow “off the hook” and school is their only option.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

{O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire whose fuel is men and stones.}

[surah at-Tahreem 66:6]

And our Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said:

{Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. […] A man is the guardian of his family and he is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and his children and she is responsible for them.}

[collected by Bukhari and Muslim]

The scholars of our time have also guided the Muslims to avoid letting their children being educated in the schools of the non believers for fear their nature and their faith would be corrupted.

Knowing the above, the least we can do is to think and consider what options are really available to our family when it comes to the upbringing of our children.

Academics are not the only aspect that must be weighed in the decision: the priority should be the quality of the environment we consign our kids to for 7-8 hours a day, 5 days a week for 14 formative years of their life; years in which their characters are at their most malleable and their minds at their most susceptible. If you have looked around and we are not happy with the local schools, do not accept it as an inevitability that your child must attend public school. Why not consider taking charge of their education yourself?

It is not mandatory for every Muslim mother on earth to home educate, but it is part of her duties – and a big part at that – to give the highest priority to raising her children well, even when some personal or professional ambition may need to be scaled down or put on the back burner for a while, to make space for this new job.

10. It is a job

Have you ever met or listened to someone who truly loves his job? I remember an elderly scientist in a documentary, in a jungle somewhere, hanging from a rope up in the canopy, chuckling with the utmost delight as he collected what – to the untrained eye – looked like the umpteenth, unremarkable, little bug. He was grinning from ear to ear as he explained the absolute wonder that was that bug; I wouldn’t say I envied him, but his passion was quite infectious!

This all consuming passion for learning is what we all aspire to and work for in our respective homeschools. But even the most passionate and committed worker sometimes has a “bad day at the office” (or in the canopy, in the factory, in the kitchen, etc…). The homeschooling mom will have to face plenty of those, but the believing mother knows that:

She is not helpless: she knows she has a Lord who is can do anything and listens to even the faintest whisper of the heart; she supplicates Allah for guidance, patience and ease.
She is not unprepared: her kids haven’t just suddenly dropped from the sky, she expects challenges in parenting.
She is not alone: in her city, maybe even in her same street or block of flats, another woman is facing the same difficulties.

While it is true that sometimes you might feel like hiding in the bathroom for a good sob, most days – around your dining table, on your floor, sofa or wherever else you congregate with your children – there will be contentment, warmth and excitement; and learning will ensue.

If you are an experienced homeschooler, what would you add to the list?

Are you are thinking to start home educating? which aspects do you find the most exciting and which the most worrying?

But most importantly: do you ever get out of your pyjamas???

Please share your thoughts in the comments below.